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I clearly remember life shifting when I went from one kid to two. It’s strange, but going from no kids to one felt totally manageable for me — still able to get workouts in, juggle the household chores, cook pretty impressive meals…
Now I’m lucky if I can even remember to buy my daughter’s favorite frozen waffles.
Coming from a background of “independent woman” with a side of hustle mentality, I had programmed myself to believe that I could do it all and didn’t need a lot of outside help. But I was starting to forget things like:
“Did I tell my husband he needed to pick up Maddy from school today?”
“Is it my bestie’s birthday today?”
“Did I post the menu for AW?”
“Have I eaten???!”
It was during those early weeks of becoming a mom of two that I stopped and asked myself, Why do I feel like I have to do it all?
Is it because we feel this invisible badge of honor when we do everything? Or because culture quietly convinced us that moms are supposed to do and be everything?
I’ll be real — for me, it’s both.
I feel so proud when I get all the things done: get the kids ready, have activities planned, make it to the playdate, pack the snacks instead of stopping at a drive-thru, get homemade meals on the table, read them books, and get them to bed on time…
Even if I had to throw out my back in the process and felt like my entire day was a hardcore cardio sesh. Haha.
And honestly? Those days are RARE. It’s not sustainable. I’m lucky if we have a day like that twice a month.
That’s when I realized I needed more outside support and more systems to keep the household running — not me.
These are five things I started implementing to help me feel more supported and systematic at home:
1. I hired an employee for my business.
Truly, I didn’t want to give up the money to do this, but it has made all the difference in my sanity — and that alone is worth it. It’s like they say: we have to let go to receive. Maybe you don’t have a business, but where could you employ a service to take something off your back? A cleaning service once a week? Someone for laundry only? A babysitter a few hours a week? A meal prep service perhaps 😉
2. I started speaking up when I need help.
I’m notorious for giving off the impression that “I’m fine, it’s fine, everything is fine…” until something rocks the apple cart and I explode. Clearly things were not fine. But because I know that about myself and I’m practicing self-honesty, I can stop it before it happens. I insert my village strategically and more frequently — and wow, what a difference.
3. I stopped overbooking myself.
And I’m not just talking about work. I stopped scheduling so many playdates and activities for the kids. It’s cool to have stuff to do — but not at the expense of my nervous system, thank you very much.
Full disclosure: I actually stopped doing a Tuesday cook day because it was getting a little too overwhelming. But instead of doing nothing, I’m using that day for things like this — writing a blog, trying new recipes, launching new products. So it’s not that I’m not working. It’s just more passive work. And it’s work I really enjoy.
4. I go out with friends once a month (at least).
I didn’t realize how much I missed my friends until I started crying at our Christmas get-together about how I had forgotten I actually enjoy girl time. Maybe it was the wine, lol. But deep down, something resurfaced when I was laughing and catching up with my girlfriends.
The thing is, WE NEED COMMUNITY. And it’s so easy to forget that when you’re trying to do it all. So pleaseee schedule the GNO, the movie night in, or whatever you and your crew like to do — but DO IT.
5. I get ready-made meals.
When I’m making my customers’ meals, I’m also making plates for my family. It’s not that I don’t enjoy cooking at home — it’s just that it’s not realistic for me to get it done every day of the week, even when my intentions are good.
Because I enjoy the kitchen, I plan for three days of meal prep and two days of cooking. This has taken a huge load off my back. Knowing what we’re going to eat makes me feel less stressed, and it gives me more time to hang out with the kids or put out the other fires that are surely going on around the house.
Systems and Support isn’t laziness, weakness or lack of ambition. It’s actually a really intelligent move that will feed back into you and back into the family. It’s going to give you sustainability instead of burnIng out by Tuesday.
Activated Wellness exists because I stopped believing women should power through and that support isn’t optional…its deserved!
If you need some support, let Activated Wellness be a part of your systems and processes. We were never meant to do it alone. And you don’t have to.
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